Subterfuge
by Anthropormorphia
Summary: Mal, in need of money, takes on passengers. But there's something odd about these girls. buffy connotations.
1. Conversations

The voice echoed over the bridge.

"Pardon me for intrudin', but I believe y'all are carrying something of mine."

The reply was almost instant.

"T'aint yourn."

Again, there was little or no hesitation between exchanges.

"You gonna talk words to me? You gonna mouth off after what you done? Did you think we wouldn't find out you changed your route? You're gonna give us what's due to us, and every damn thing else on the boat, and I think maybe you're gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the missus."

At this point, the casual observer might have noted that the two voices sounded extremely similar. Or that the speakers appeared to be toy dinosaurs held aloft and animated by a fair-haired, amiable looking man. The stegosaurus made his comeback:

"You might wanna reconsider that last part, see, I married me a powerful ugly creature."

Wash dropped the T-Rex, and grabbed a nearby pterodactyl.

"How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?"

The steg' had an answer to that, too.

"If I could make you prettier, I would."

The pterodactyl managed to respond with:

"You are not the man I met a year ago!"

Before a wave interrupted the saga before any violence was reached. Just as well, really, as dinosaurs can't hold guns.

Wash answered the wave, and then hit the intercom button.

"Mal, gotta wave for you. You want me to send it down to your bunk?"

After a moment, the captain appeared in the doorway.

"Is that a no?"

Mal ignored him, and turned to the screen.

"Badger, what can I do for you?"

The dirty, bowler hatted man sneered as he replied.

"Get rid of that heap of ge-se you fly and get a ship that could pull actual jobs, insteada the schoolboy errands I give you."

"You waved me for that?" Mal knew full well he hadn't, but if there were anyway he could possibly annoy Badger….

"I waved with an _errand_ for you…Captain." Somehow, this vocative sounded like the word "scum" when it was intoned in such a way. "Know of some cargo wants movin'."

Mal took this opportunity to smile a smile he knew would get Badger's pants all knotted in all kindsa ways.

"Why call on the humble captain of a heap of ge-se?"

He giggled internally as Badger fumed for a moment.

"It's near where you're at, and no other crew is fong-lu enough to go anywhere that can be considered close to the Allen moon."

Wash looked up from replacing all the dinosaurs back in their places.

"Allen? Uh, Captain, we really don't wanna go there."

Mal glanced at him for the first time since entering the bridge. He was right. That particular moon was near ruled by vigilante mobs. Far from the alliance, maybe, but just for once it'd be nice to do a job where no one got shot. And yet.

"We need the money, Wash." He turned back to the screen. "How much?"

Badger gave a tight smile.

"That's for you to negotiate with whoever wants it moved."

"And just who might that be?"

"Dint' get a name. You just meet 'em in a bar called the…." Badger glanced at someone Mal and Wash couldn't see on the screen. "The Mersey. And you give me fifty percent."

Mal didn't even consider it.

"Ten."

"Forty."

"Twenty."

"Thirty."

"Twenty five."

"Twenty five? You insult me, Captain. Might as well just pay twenty."

"Twenty? Done."

Mal smirked. Badger almost snarled.

"Just pay me soon, Mal."

The wave ended.

"Wash?"

"I know, I know. Set a course for Allen. Already doing it."

Wash reached up and flicked three switches above his head. Mal smiled. You could always depend on Wash, even if he did wear possibly the ugliest shirts in the 'verse. Leaving the pilot to do his job, he went to ready the rest of the crew, making a mental note that only the "squads" were permitted weaponry on Allen.


	2. Weapons Get You Killed

**Disclaimer: Joss is Boss**

**title ideas welcomed**

Mal, Zoë and Jayne strode through the dusty night streets, ignoring the various arguments, tussles, and fires in barrels around them. Occasionally, gangs of similarly dressed, seriously armed men would move past, and were severely ignored by the three from Serenity, who were too busy having a discussion of their own.

"But, Mal, every time you say I aint to bring no weapons, things go awry. Every gorram time!"

Mal and Zoë shared a glance. They both knew, in part at least, he was right. However, anybody not a member of one of the "enforcement squads" – or vigilante gangs, as most people outside of Allen saw them – carrying weaponry of any kind would be executed immediately. They both knew that Jayne knew this. Jayne knew that Jayne knew this. But it wasn't about to stop him having a full and good complain to Captain Bossy. Being without weapons in any situation made his teeth itch all nervous like.

"Don't be ignorin' me, Mal, you know I'm right, and…"

Mal cut him off, stopping abruptly to face him.

"Jayne?"

"Whut?"

"Shut up. Weapons here get you killed. Well, weapons anywhere get you killed, but that aint the point. Don't for one second think that I'd have a hard time replacing you, coz I…."

"Sir?" it was Zoë's turn to interrupt. Mal looked round, first at his first mate, and then and the two rather large, and rather heavily armed, young men. They were both dressed similarly in loose clothing made from heavy, khaki cloth, and when they stood shoulder to shoulder as they now did, they gave a very good impression of a wall. Possibly not a wall that had bothered with any fancy education that might include moral philosophy, though.

"Is there a problem here, sirs and madam?" enquired one. Mal recognised the accent as being vaguely similar to Badger's. He shook his head.

"Nope, no problem here, just tellin' my friend her not to be more of an idiot than he can help."

The men glanced at each other, then leered.

"Would that telling involve your friend's fondness for weapons, sir?" it was the other one that had spoken this time.

Mal hesitated slightly. He didn't trust either part of the human wall.

"Well, we aint got any with us, so you have no call to worry on that, friend." He said, keeping his tone the friendly side of neutral.

The leer was revived.

"Well, isn't that nice. Perhaps that makes us friends. And as friends, maybe you could share your plans for this fine evening."

Mal opened his mouth to speak, but Zoë got there first.

"We're going to meet my husband. Can you tell us where we might find a bar called the Mersey?"

Again, the two thugs shared a glance. Apparently, they believed Zoë, because one of the two gave a sarcastic little bow and said:

"Certainly, madam. Take a left and the end of the street. You can't miss it."

Then, on hearing gunshots a short way away, they pushed past the browncoats and Jayne, and disappeared.


	3. Apples and Girls

The Mersey was warm, and dark, and dingy. The background noise – consisting of a mixture of conversation, people playing pool, and someone playing a guitar in a corner – was comfortably quite, yet loud enough to prevent anyone overhearing a conversation they weren't meant to. Tobacco smoke hung thick in the air, adding haziness to the dark warmth. Mal thanked the brunette behind the bar and strolled unhurriedly back to the table where Zoë and Jayne sat in the centre of the room, carrying three pints of something that apparently had something to do with apples. He set them on the rough, round tabletop just in time to hear Jayne's latest comment.

"Might help if we had some notion of who we're waitin' for." He was still petulant over his lack of weaponry, and he took his drink with enthusiasm, taking a large gulp before almost choking. He banged his glass down on the table, eyes watering. "Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze fuh ur-tze!" he managed to gasp.

"Guai guai?" Asked Zoë, somewhat amused, as Jayne nearly hiccupped for breath, eyes watering. Partly to help, and partly just for fun, Mal leaned over and slapped him hard across the back. Eventually, after much more cussing, Jayne's breathing returned to normal. Around them, a couple of locals whose attention they'd gained chuckled amongst themselves as returned to their own drinks.

"Apples my well toned ass." Jayne muttered, glaring balefully at the determinedly straight faces of his cohorts.

"Kinda like a knife in the gut, don't you think?" said a voice, not unkindly. Turning, the three saw a tall girl, standing just a couple of feet away. A long braid hung over one shoulder, and blue eyes matched her open smile, glinting in the dim light like her numerous earrings and the pewter flower about her neck.

"Yeah? And how many times have you been stabbed in the gut, girly?" grunted Jayne, looking up as far as her chest.

"Just once," she replied amiably, lifting her loose black vest. Moving his eyes down, Jayne saw a couple bits of shiny in her naval, and a thin scar marring her flat stomach just above the waistband of the black cargo trousers. "I'm Nova." She added, as she nudged a chair up to the table with one scuffed, heavy black boot, before leaning the back of it against the table and sitting astride the chair, left arm relaxing on to the table revealing a small seahorse tattoo.

"Captain Mal Reynolds. This is my first mate Zoë Washburne, and, uh, Jayne. Jayne Cobb."

Zoë nodded a greeting to the newcomer, and Jayne just grunted.

"A Captain? I assume that means you have a ship of some kind?"

Mal nodded, not wanting to give away too much to someone he didn't know, and half looking out for his customer.

"Well," the girl continued, "I know a dude who thinks yours is a heap of ge-se."

Mal looked around sharply, and Zoë shifted in her seat, taking a small sip of her drink. Jayne, still drinking, hadn't noticed, or didn't know. Or quite possibly both.

"Don't like him much though. He makes me feel like I need to bathe."

_Yeah, that's Badger. _Thought Mal. He decided that the bush had taken enough beating.

"You're who we came to meet?"

"That I am. What kind of ship do you have?"

The question caught Mal a little off guard. This Nova fell just short of creepifying.

"Firefly." He said. "What's the cargo?"

She raised her eyebrows.

"No need to snap, dude." She spent a moment frowning at a chip in the black paint on her nails. "I am. Well, my friends and I are."

Zoë put her drink down, frowning.

"Badger didn't say anything about passengers."

Nova glanced up.

"Badger! That's his name!" She caught their stares. "Um…I mean, that's cos I didn't tell him. We aren't looking for a nice flight. We're looking to get the hell out of here. We'll sleep rough with the cargo, we won't put you out in anyway, and we'll pitch in and help if we're needed."

Mal considered for a moment. He could understand people wanting to get away from this place. Hell, if he lived here, he'd sleep with the gorram cargo to get away too. The part that concerned him was the part about "friends".

"How many friends?"

The girl exhaled slowly.

"Four." She tilted her head backwards slightly. "The blonde with the guitar. Taban." They glanced into the corner where another girl of about the same age sat alone, happily strumming at an old red guitar. Nova's head tilted sideways. "The sisters playing cards. Ebony, and Kaige is wearing glasses." They looked. Two more girls in their late teens. This time, Nova looked past Mal towards the bar. "And the barmaid. Taariq." Mal craned his neck around, spotting the young girl who had served him.

"How much?" Jayne was beginning to slur, which surprised Mal, as the sommbitch could normally drink a fish so far under the table it got dark and fuzzy.

Again, Nova exhaled. This time when she spoke, it was quiet, and they had to lean in to catch it.

"5k. Two and a half now, on faith, and the rest when we break atmo." She looked Mal straight in the eye, almost pleadingly.

"Where'd you get 5k?" Zoë had failed to keep the greed from underlining her voice. Nova turned to look her in the eye instead.

"We stole it." She replied, quite matter of fact.

_Fair enough._ Mal and Zoë thought, unknowingly simultaneously.

"You'll be looking to leave soon, then?" Mal wanted to know. She nodded.

"Yesterday if possible."

Mal smiled wryly. _Aint that always the way._

"Well then we'll leave as soon as you have your stuff together."

She nodded once.

"Groovy."

She reached out, took Mal's untouched pint, and to Jayne's utter horror, downed it in one. She set the empty glass back down, stood up, staggered, muttered something along the lines of:

"Stupid floor, quit movin'! How'm I gonna walk if you spin like that?"

Straightened up, grinned happily at them, and strode off in the direction of the bar.


	4. Walk Run Fight?

No more than twelve minutes later, eight figures strode the warm, riotous streets. Five of them carried large duffle bags. Mal had noticed that they all wore the same or a variation of what Nova was wearing, which now included a long black leather coat. He was also noticing – and becoming mildly creepified by – the way the sisters (Ebony and Kaige?) kept looking at him, and then smirking at each other. It was hard for him to say which was the eldest, so he supposed they were about the same age, with dark eyes and curly dark hair. Not twins though, for Ebony was noticeably taller, and Kaige wore glasses. Another thing he noticed was how easily these young girls, even Taariq – who was little above five feet – kept pace with Jayne. And how lightly they lifted the bags that he himself had found heavy. Apparently Zoë had noticed too; Mal saw her half watching Taban, an averagely built girl with blonde curls, and an aura of cheeriness that reminded a person of li'l Kaylee, who was carrying not only a bag, but her guitar as well.

The only thing Jayne had noticed was that the further they got from that bar and that 30 proof "apple" go-se, the faster the weird-ass little girls were walking. In fact, he hadn't noticed until the three tallest – drinkin'-girl and the sisters – were walking in front of him, and the guitar-carryin' girl and the other one, whatever her name was, were walking along side him. She was pretty, he noticed, if a little too rounded for his taste, with large blue eyes and a rosebud mouth. She looked over her shoulder, shoulder-length black hair swinging in an arc as her head moved.

"What's the hurry, girl?" he asked, starting to feel a mite nervous about these girls, and his lack of guns. Damn Mal. Womenfolk weren't to be trusted. 'Cept Vera.

She looked up at him, half smiling.

"They may have noticed they're missing a certain amount of money."

"That amount wouldn't happen to be in the 5k region, by any chance now, would it?"

She smiled again, worry not quite leaving her eyes.

"There or there abouts." She replied, before moving forward to speak to the others, who looked over their shoulders and walked still faster.

Not liking this one tiny little bit, Jayne noticed the other girl having trouble trying to balance the guitar atop her bag.

"Want me to take that?" He enquired, fulfilling his gentlemanly gesture for the year quota. She shot him a bright grin, and surrendered the guitar.

"Thanks."

She hurried forward to converse with the other girls, who were now walking so fast that he and Mal could hardly keep up, and Zoë was nearly jogging. As they cleared the last street, and headed out across the open prairie to where Serenity could now be seen, a black silhouette like a beast crouched on the horizon, the girls broke into a run, forcing the crew to sprint along behind them, suddenly desperate to get to the square of yellow light that was the airlock of the aged firefly.

Zoë groaned inwardly as she heard the sounds of shouts and heavy bootfalls behind them. She found herself thinking that Jayne had been right, and then wondering just how disgusted Wash would be if he knew she'd thought that. As they got so close to the ship that she could see Kaylee and the shepherd outlined in the entrance to the cargo bay, and their pursuers got so close she could hear one of them cussin' in Chinese, the five girls threw their bags onto the ramp, and dropped back sharply, turning to face the dozen or so angry men who'd been following them.

Unable not to watch, Zoë turned just in time to see Nova drop a guy near twice her size with a kick to the chest.

"Mal…" she called, and Mal turn to stand beside her, jaw dropping as he saw Taban knock a guy out with a single punch.

"Wuh-de-ma!" they heard Jayne mutter as Kaige flipped a man across her back on to the floor, Ebony tripped a guy and kicked him in the stomach as he fell, and Taariq dislocated another's shoulder with a slight tug.

Within a minute, all of the dozen were closely inspecting the dust, and the five teenaged girls walked up the ramp, Kaige sporting a bloodied lip. She grinned widely as she grabbed her bag.

"That was _bracing_!"

Still disbelieving, they followed up the ramp, Nova last. Just as Mal turned to ask her what the gorram hell was going on, one of the guys struggled to his feet and lumbered towards Nova, who swung her fist up, elbow at a right angle, to catch him in the face, knocking him unconscious off the ramp, without her eyes leaving Mal's face. Stunned, he saw her smile as she grabbed her bag before he hit the com button by his elbow.

"Wash, I'd like very much to leave now."

He didn't catch Wash's reply, but the engine started up, so he hit the button to lift the ramp and seal the airlock, before turning to find out what he'd let himself and his crew in for this time.


	5. Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Serenity safely broke atmosphere, engines settling to a steady roar. Wash, feeling a touch of pride over how smooth the exit had been, flipped a few switches, pushed a few buttons, and then leaned into the intercom.

"Kaylee?"

Her reply came straight away, tinny and amplified.

"Everythin's shiny, Wash, we're good to go automatic!"

He began the sequence, but left the 'com on.

"What happened before take-off, mei-mei? What shenanigans got Mal's pants in a knot this time?"

Kaylee hesitated, and the pause was filled with static.

"The cargo is people."

Wash went through a few variations of puzzlement, certain that there were many more that he was going to experience soon, before his brain managed to assemble a response.

"Huh?"

Kaylee's tinny voice floated out of the speakers again.

"Cap'n has everyone in the kitchen, waitin' for an explanation. Shepherd Book said he'd ask 'em all to wait for us."

Wash finished the sequence, and the ship shuddered gently as all the manual controls surrendered to the ancient computer-based technology. He stood up, leaning down to the mic one last time.

"Come on, then, pretty Kaylee, we don't wanna miss all the fun."

The kitchen-slash-dining area was packed. Even though the size of the room physically wouldn't allow it, there was quite a space between the nine crewmembers and the five newcomers. The bags and the guitar had been left in the hold, along with the coats, revealing the newcomers attire to be quite shabby, if comfortable looking. Everybody seemed to be avoiding the eye contact of those opposite them, except River, who stared at the five girls with interest. Having already calculated their combined age, combined height, and every other combined and individual statistic about them she could think of, she was now quite happy to speculate about their past, and about what made them so different. She could tell. Their individual and combined strength was obvious to anyone with more than half a brain. The way they stood, their casual arrogance. They were steeped in history, and River couldn't wait to find out more. But, she speculated, it would take everyone else a long time to grasp this. None of them understood _her,_ even Simon, so they didn't really have much hope understanding these girls. She wondered if they like to dance. She could teach them; in exchange for the history lessons they could give her! A mutually beneficial arrangement with the added bonus of female bonding. They could be friends! These girls were different enough, special enough, for them to have a rough basis of understanding. Her focus didn't shift as the captain began to ask them questions, most of which she could answer herself. Their names. Names were easy. Names matched the people they belonged to. Nova, Taban, Taariq, Ebony, Kaige. Each one sounded how they looked, but of course, neither the captain, nor any other member of the crew understood this. Now they asked the crew names, and River wasn't about to pass on an opportunity of communicating with potential friends, so she leapt gracefully into the conversation of Mal opened his mouth to speak.

"Names are the basis for our personality. When our parents choose them, they set a course for us we can't change. Names tell the 'verse who we are, where we're from. They are the foundations of all other communication." She paused for breath, and smiled, a little shyly. "Mine is River." There was another pause. The new girls exchanged glances, then Nova, the apparent spokeswoman, extended her hand for River to shake.

"It's nice to meet you, River," she said, smiling warmly.

"Your hands are cold." River turned the pale hand over in both of her own, examining it closely. "You have poor circulation to your extremities."

"Yeah, well," Nova shrugged. "Cold hands, warm heart, right?"

River thought about this, as Nova let go of her hand, moving back to where she had been. It was, of course, an absurd thing to say. Internal and external body temperatures did not dictate each other. Nevertheless, she found her self very taken with the concept, and began to amuse her self by trying to apply this to the rest of the crew.

There was another awkward silence. Nova kept glancing at the other girls, trying to make them do the communicating for a change. When they wouldn't, she tried again.

"So," she said brightly. "We've met Captain Mal, Zoë the first mate, Jayne who won't stop staring at my chest. Or their chests." This last sentence, which contrived to sound threatening, was accompanied with a gesture at the other four new girls, who responded by glaring at Jayne, who in turn looked neither abashed nor repentant. "And we've met River." She looked in turn at Wash and Kaylee, Simon and Book, and the uncharacteristically surprised looking Inara. "So who the hell is everyone else?"


	6. Further Introductions

Kaylee stared at the girls. They were all of 'em pretty, even if they didn't show it off like Inara. And they seemed friendly enough, even if they were a little on edge. She decided they should feel more welcome aboard Serenity. After all, they were paying enough to get all those shiny new parts she wanted, and even maybe some fruit. Plucking up her courage, she stepped forward, her customary smile easily finding its place on her grease streaked face.

"Well, uh, I'm Kaylee. I'm Serenity's mechanic." A sudden thought struck her. "Oh! I'm re-wiring the lights, so please don't go in the engine room 'less you really have to!" she relaxed a little as the new girls smiled back, and promised not to. She continued. "An…And this here is Wash," she put her hand on his arm, and pulled him a little further into view. "Best pilot in the 'verse! And…"

"Wait a second," Nova interrupted. "Wash. Washburne" She gestured at Zoë. "You both are married?"

"There a problem with that?" demanded Zoë quietly, suddenly on the defensive. Nova shook her head.

"Course not. Just like to be clear. Wouldn't wanna go making any inappropriate remarks, or…" she paused to grin a little and look Wash over. "Tryin' to seduce a man who has a wife as proficient with guns as you."

"Yeah, Nova, that's good. That's really good." Taban spoke up for the first time, smirking like the rest of the black clad young women. Nova looked at them wide eyed, really not managing to pull off any kind of innocent act.

"What? He's pretty!"

"So's Nik," grinned Ebony.

Nova raised her chin, staring down her nose at her cohorts.

"You are no longer my friends." She declared trying not to grin. "You are all mean to me. And I'm prettier than you." She turned her back on them in a very final manner, ignoring Taariq's remark of:

"You're so melodramatic."

She looked at Kaylee.

"Continue," she invited with a short hand gesture.

Kaylee floundered for a moment, thrown by their random changes of direction. She glanced at Wash, who seemed equally, if not more so, flabbergasted. Finally, Book came to her rescue.

"As Kaylee was about to say before being interrupted, I'm Shepherd Book." He smiled warmly and extended his had for each of the girls to shake. "You can all just call me Book. And this is Simon Tam," he indicated the young doctor, not missing the sudden interest on the faces of Kaige and Ebony. "He's River's elder brother, and a mighty fine Doctor, too."

Simon managed to nod and say

"How do you do?" but he was preoccupied with River's reaction to these strange girls.

Kaylee had pulled herself together. She stepped up next to Inara, determined that neither the Captain nor Jayne would describe her using that horrible word in front newcomers.

"And this is Inara," she said, and drew breath to get the sentence out without interruptions. "She's a…"

"Companion," interrupted Kaige, her expression unreadable. "Fine by us."

Inara bridled slightly at this dismissal of her career.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" She kept her expression equally unreadable, not quite at her ease with these girls. Companions were trained to read people, and these young women weren't just arrogant. Their arrogance was etched into them, in the way only found in people who have tried and tested the power which makes them arrogant. She knew for sure there was something not being said, and she wasn't sure that anyone would like it when it was said.

"I mean, people have to earn." Kaige continued, unthrown. "Some people probably have…issues with your choice of career, but I wanted it said we don't."

Inara relaxed. The answer seemed genuine enough. She would have replied, but Jayne had sobered up and had things he wanted said.

"Now y'all have had yer niceties an' know who's what, maybe you'll be inclined to hand over the other 2 an' a half K, bein' as we broke atmo."

_Jayne Cobb,_ she thought. _Ever the master of subtlety._


	7. Background Information false

**Joss is Boss.**

The girls looked at Jayne for a moment, then back at each other, before they each reached into various pockets and pulled out small wads of nice, cashy, money. Nova took the four from the other girls, and then lay them down on the table in front of Mal and Jayne with a slight bow.

"Anything else, Mr Jayne?" she asked, with sarcasm Jayne chose to ignore.

"Yeah. How'd five bitty little girls like you beat the livin' crap outta a bunch of guys nearly twice your ruttin' size? Aint no man can pull a man's arm out its socket so easy, never mind a little thing like you." He glared suspiciously at Taariq, who stared back until he looked away.

"Actually," Mal spoke up, finding it high time he should get back in control, as Captain. "That's something I wouldn't mind knowing my own self." He leaned down and took the money off the table. "You all got a notion to fill us in? Maybe include a chapter 'bout just why you were so keen to get away from home any available way?"

Again, the girls shared looks between themselves, and again, the talking was left to Nova, but before she got a chance to speak, she was interrupted.

"Special." River's voice sounded as vague as usual, yet as sure as anyone had heard it. "One became many, many became few. Two by two they came and took the pretty maids away coz they were special. Couldn't lure them in like me. Didn't want their brains. Took them in the dark. Took them in to make us sisters. Do things others can't." She stopped, and stared at Mal. "Think you know what you are. What's to come. You haven't even begun."

A long silence stretched over the company, each one trying to make some kind of sense out of River's speech. After a horribly uncomfortable moment, the silence was broken.

"That's it, I'm outta here." Kaige was halfway to the door before anyone had noticed she'd moved.

"Don't be stupid." Ebony's voice was heavy with disdain. Kaige turned back.

"Don't call me stupid! I don't wanna stay here with crazy people!"

"Well, it's not like you can go anywhere. We broke atmo. Unless you're just gonna waltz out the airlock, what're you gonna do? Go off and sulk in a corner of the cargo bay?"

"Well, maybe I will, just to get away from your whining!"

they continued in this vein, becoming more and more ferocious, to the point where the crew of Serenity were bordering on alarmed, not only because the two sisters appeared to be rapidly approaching violence, but because the three other girls just stood, either ignoring them, or watching in mild interest. Eventually, Ebony and Kaige were face to face, fists clenched by their sides. Just as Mal was considering stepping in, or separating them with a very long stick, they turned away from each other with simultaneous noises of disgust, to stand as far away from each other as the small room would allow. Nova looked up from her inspection of her fingernails.

"Have you finished?" she looked at each of them and rolled her eyes. "Can you feel the love?" she said, to the room in general, trying not to be too amused by the startled looks on the crew's faces. When they didn't answer, she continued. "Well, I have an idea. How bout you tell us the story of River, then we tell you the story of us?"

Mal kept her gaze.

"She's Dr Tam's sister."

Nova raised an eyebrow. Mal was stuck. These girls were still an unknown quantity. It could be that they'd seen a wanted poster with the Tam's faces on, and wanted the reward. It could just be that they were curious. Still searching for something to say, he was grateful when Simon butted in.

"She was a genius child," he said, moving to stand next to her. "One summer when we were in our early teens, she fell out of the tree she was climbing. Severe head trauma and surgery left her…..well…."

"Moonbrained." Jayne offered. Simon glared at him.

"A little unstable." He amended, putting his arm around her shoulders. She leaned her head against him, accepting the hug.

"Subterfuge," she said, smiling up at him. He smiled back, hoping that the newcomers didn't get any clues from her one word statement.

"I think we got all the key elements." Nova said. "Clever and crazy." She nodded. "I think that's all we need to know." She paused. "Your turn then. Bad neighbourhood, rough upbringing, self defence lessons from friends who moved off Allen roughly a year back. Any questions?"

This story, Mal reflected, might have stuck. It sounded right enough. It was spoiled though. While Nova had been talking, River had, unnoticed, taken a weighty metal beaker left on the table from dinner and had been hefting it between her hands. As Nova had finished talking, River had thrown the cup at her head with pinpoint accuracy, and enough force to cause moderate concussion. As everyone gasped in anticipation of the impact, Nova's hand reached up and caught the cup an inch from her skull, and held it there. Finally lowering it from head height, Nova began to toss the cup in the same hand, throwing it and catching it. She looked away from Mal, her blue eyes finding River's brown ones.

"That really wasn't very nice."


	8. Somewhere for Everyone

**Joss is Boss**

"That really wasn't very nice."

Another tense silence followed, thick with shock both at River's action and at Nova's response. The two girls in question stared eye to eye, neither blinking. As the silence stretched and stretched like hot mozzarella, everyone wondering who would speak or act first, a loud, raucous buzzing noise blasted through the ship, causing everyone to leap half out of their skins. Wash was the first to move, heading for the bridge, Mal close behind him. As Zoë turned to follow them, Taban leaned across the table and caught her arm.

"What is that?" she half shouted, trying to be heard above the awful noise.

"Proximity alarm," Zoë yelled back, before heading off to the bridge.

"What do we got?" she asked, all business as she arrived, just in time to see Wash kill the racket. He glanced at her reflection in the big window before him.

"Alliance," he replied evenly, causing Mal to curse. "Gonna be waving us anytime soon. Full fed patrol by the looks of things. Wonder why they're so far out…" he trailed off, inspecting the monitors closely to find out all the stats he could about their imminent visitors. Mal turned to Zoë.

"Go get them hid, I'll take the wave."

She nodded once and left the bridge, hurrying back to the kitchen area. As she strode into the tiny room, everyone who'd remained there looked at her expectantly, excluding River, who excitedly murmured about playing hide and seek and gripped Kaylee's hand.

"Alliance." Zoë informed them abruptly, eliciting panicked reactions not only from the members of Serenity's crew, but the five newcomers as well. Cursing, they drew into a huddle, conversing quickly and urgently in low tones. After a moment, they seemed to agree on something, and pulled out of the huddle, striding from the tiny room and marching – all five of them – onto the bridge, where Wash and Mal were occupied by the huge Alliance craft hovering just outside their windows, dwarfing the firefly. Nova reached out and tapped Mal on the shoulder, taking a deep breath as he turned to face her.

"Captain Reynolds," she said. "We need to ask a favour."

They gathered around the engine, peering at the floor underneath it as Kaylee pulled or pushed some obscure part that no one would have otherwise noticed. A panel, directly under the main part of the engine, slid back, revealing a smallish hole in the panelling.

"Ain't no one gonna fit in there!" she cried in dismay as she, too bent to the floor to inspect it. "I thought it were bigger than that!"

"River might," Zoë observed. "You happy to hide in there, little one?" she asked, turning to face the teen, who nodded happily and began to kneel.

"I really think…." Simon began, but was cut off by his sibling, who was already on her back, starting to slide under the engine.

"She'll be fine, silly."

"But isn't it dangerous?" he protested, choosing to ignore the clear two feet between the underside of the engine and his sister. She gave him her patented "brat look" as he called it.

"Go and hide Simon." She ordered him, just before dropping out of sight into the hole.

"You OK in there, mei-mei?" Mal called in. the disembodied reply floated back to him.

"She's perfectly comfortable. The engine will talk to her and keep her company."

Mal nodded, as though trying to prove to himself he understood.

"That's…good. We're gonna close it up now, darlin'" he informed her, and nodded to Kaylee, who once more fiddled with the half hidden engine part, making the panel close flush to the floor and unseen.

Wash's voice made them all jump once more, calling through the intercom for Mal to come and answer the alliance's wave. Leaving his crew to hide Simon and the other girls, he left the engine room. Inara offered the first suggestion.

"There's room for one in my shuttle," she offered. "But not if they're very tall, and it's quite hard to stay there."

"I'm the shortest," Taariq offered. "I guess it'll be me hiding there." She followed the companion, glancing once back at her friends.

"Room in my bunk for one maybe, though you'd have to squidge up real small." Jayne volunteered, surprising most of those present.

"Kaige, you can fit in freakishly small spaces, you better go," Nova decided, ignoring Kaige's look of protest at having to accompany Jayne.

"What about the rest of us?" Ebony asked, looking primarily to Zoë for an answer. "This is a smuggling ship, right?"

"What about the new mule?" Book offered. "Two people could fit under the tarpaulin easily, and it's unlikely that the feds will take the trouble to have it lowered back in to the cargo bay."

Zoë nodded.

"Could be that's true. You and Kaylee, lower it down, and Kaylee, make sure those bags and coats are in that compartment. The one by the stairs, dong ma?"

Kaylee nodded and ran off to the cargo bay, Book hard on her heels. "Doc," Zoë continued, "reckon the mule's the best place for you. We're fast runnin' out of places where people can breathe, and the mule'll be easiest for you to get out of, if anythin' should happen."

Simon nodded, a little less than thrilled at spending time suspended thirty feet above the cargo bay. Zoë turned to the remaining three girls.

"We can fit one more under the tarp."

"Me please," Taban offered immediately. "Hiding in walls makes me not happy. Tarpaulins are cool 'coz they move easily."

Zoë nodded again.

"Go," she told them. "Now." She then took a very deep breath and turned to Nova and Ebony. "We got room for one more."

Nova didn't hesitate.

"Go hide," she told her friend. "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" the younger girl asked.

"Sure." Nova replied, and then grinned wickedly. "Trust me, I'm pretty." Ebony smiled back and the two hugged. Nova pushed her away again. "Get gone. Umm, Zoë? Where are the crew bunks?"

A/N: thanks to the dude who reviewed me. hope you enjoy the rest.


	9. Hide

**Joss is Boss**

Inara led Taarig into her shuttle, smiling slightly at the soft "ooh" the newcomer made as she took in the plush decorations. Noting the need for haste, the companion went straight to the wall at the head of the large, pristinely made bed, reached up, and tugged at one end of a soft drape covering part of the ceiling. Looking up, Taariq saw that a rectangular area of the ceiling had been cut away, and rebuilt slightly higher, leaving a space like the negative of a box. It was roughly as long as she was tall, and about as wide as a coffin. Conveniently, there were two niches at each end of the space.

"There are crates in the other shuttle which match these spaces exactly," Inara told her. "The other is above the door, but I use that for overhead storage. Will you be able to…." She stopped abruptly as the other slipped her shoes off, climbed onto the bed and took hold of two of the niches. She pulled herself up as far as the small space would allow, swung her legs forward so far they came level with her head, then swung them back with enough momentum to take her whole body level into the space in the ceiling. Before they could swing back down again, she planted them firmly against the end of the space, toes just curling into the niches. She smiled down at Inara's upturned face.

"Thank you, dude!" she said. "This should be cool."

Aghast at this display of acrobatics, and at being called a "dude", Inara replaced the drape, moved a lamp so if switched on it wouldn't betray the hiding girl, hid her shoes with some of her own, and hurried to find the others.

Kaige swung down into Jayne's bunk, following the merc down the ladder. Turning to take in the room, she looked in horror at the mess. It was worse than Ebony's room for crying out loud! Well, maybe not quite, but close.

"Don't be touchin' none-a my stuff, girl." Jayne grumbled, causing her to look in horror at him instead.

"As IF!" she cried, disgusted at the thought. Her manner changed as Jayne reached behind a rack laden with guns, which hung proudly above his bed, and touched a switch. The rack swung forwards and outwards, dislodging the very orange woolly bobble hat from its hanging place on the top corner, and revealing a four-foot cube in the wall.

"Cool." She said, and clambered onto the bed to get to it.

"And don't be reading no letters no letters from my Ma, neither." Jayne added as Kaige found that the bottom of the cupboard was littered with envelopes and magazines.

"Is that porn?" she demanded, turning to look at him.

"You wanna hide or not, girly?" Came the sullen reply.

"Fine," she sighed, and clambered into the hole, curling up as small as she could. "I will be able to breath, right?" she asked, suddenly worried.

"I guess," Jayne shrugged, and closed the door with a very final click.

As Jayne reached the cargo bay, Kaylee called out for him to help her move the bags. He did so, throwing them easily into the compartment and tossing their coats in on top before reaffixing the panel back into place. Behind him, the mule had just reached the floor, and Shepherd Book was drawing the tarpaulin back. Hopping up into the mule, Taban extended a hand to help Simon up, and then slid under the back seats. Simon curled up on the floor space between her and the front seats, looking up at Kaylee as she drew the tarpaulin back across, remaining admirably cheerful as she tried to reassure him.

"Don't worry none, Simon, it'll all be over afore you know it!"

He managed to smile back, determined not to show the pretty mechanic any nerves he might be feeling. However, as she fastened the tarpaulin, and the mule lurched into the air as she pressed the button on the remote to lift it, he clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. Heights were something he had never been fond of. He opened one eye a crack as Taban tapped him on the arm.

"All will be good!" she told him, adamantly.

"Really?" he managed. "What makes you so sure?"

"Happy thinking is better than not happy thinking." She replied. "Yay! For happy thinking!" she raised her fists in the facsimile of a little dance. Simon laughed a little, unable to resist such lethal short range cheeriness.

"You and Kaylee would get along well." He observed.

"She's pretty," the other replied, sounding slightly sly. Simon opened his eye wider, looking at her suspiciously, but she stared back innocently.

"Yes." He said, closing his eye. "She is."

From her vantage point at the top of the stairs nearest the bridge, Ebony watched the mule rise up into the cavernous shadows above the cargo bay and stop, rocking slightly. Glancing down into the cargo bay itself, she saw Jayne join Kaylee and Book in conversation, their words audible to her, but evidently not to Zoë, who stood behind her, working at loosing a panel from the wall.

After a moment, the panel swung forward out of the wall, revealing a crawl space big enough for the average man to fit into. Ebony stared at it, and then leaned in closer to peer into it.

"Does this come out anywhere else?" she asked, her head still inside the hole.

"The bridge," Zoë replied. "I'm gonna bolt it again behind you, but there's air enough, and we'll let you out once their gone."

Ebony glanced about the open area one last time, then crawled into the hole, lying flat on her belly. It was longer than she'd expected, and she found herself to be really quite comfortable as Zoë began replacing the wall behind her.

Wash left the bridge hurriedly, needing to find the Captain's false papers before the Alliance arrived. As he hastened past the hatches to the crew bunks, he found Nova, pacing back and forth, staring at the doors, and biting her nails. As Wash stopped in surprise, she spun to face him, her braid swinging behind her like a flail.

"Which is the Captain's bunk?" she demanded, a barely suppressed shake in her voice highlighting the worried frown on her face. Dumbly, Wash pointed, behind and to his left, wondering why on all Londonium the girl wanted the Captain's bunk. She visibly relaxed, even smiled, and dashed towards it, stopping right in front of Wash to make a wild gesture and grin at him.

"Star man. Star. Thanks!" Then she rushed past him, kicked open the hatch, and disappeared. After a moment, Wash shrugged, and continued to the bunk he shared with Zoë to retrieve the papers from her strongbox.

The crew gathered in the cargo bay, and nervously waited for the alliance to board Serenity.

thanks to all dudes who reviewed, i hope everyone's enjoying this as much as you guys.


	10. Seek

**Joss is Boss. The girls are mine.**

A dozen or so feds swarmed into the cargo bay, followed by Sergeant Banning, who swaggered along behind as though boarding his own ship. He surveyed the crew ranged in front of him with a sneer, not failing to notice the brownish hues the Captain and another crewmember wore. He made a point of staring around the cargo bay with obvious contempt before nodding to his purple clad colleagues.

"Search it."

They headed off in all directions, weapons ready. Banning strutted up to the Captain, who stood in front of the others, papers in hand. Trying to look down his nose at the considerably taller man, Banning snatched the papers out of his hands.

"What a heap of fei-oo you have here," he said conversationally, glancing through the papers, and ignoring the cry of outrage from a female crewmember.

"These are a little out of date, uh, Captain." He continued, utilising the exact same annunciation of the title as Badger had.

"They are?" replied the Browncoat, taking them back and looking at them. "We aint had to use em for so long, I guess getting' em renewed slipped my mind. I'll get em done on the next planet we get to."

_Dumbass hick_ thought Banning.

"You do that," he said aloud, before looking round in surprise at the clamour coming from the walk way above.

"Take your hands off of me, neen hen boo-tee-tyeh duh nan-shung!" a woman's voice yelled, causing the crew to stare at each other panic stricken.

"Sir!" called a male voice, presumably addressing Banning. "We found someone, sir. In one of the crew bunks." The fed came down the stairs, propelling Nova before him with one hand gripping her arm. The first thing to strike the watchers was that she appeared to be stark naked, wrapped only in the sheet from Mal's bed. He forced her across the bay to stand with the crew, her hand holding the sheet in place, a sulky expression clouding her face. Jayne stared at her, bug eyed.

"Why're you nekkid?" he asked.

"Why're you breathing?" she snarled back, glaring up at him.

"Bee-jway!" Banning ordered them, turning on Mal. "Captain, I specifically requested that all crew members congregate in the cargo bay."

"I aint crew." Nova told him, staring at him with distaste. "I'm just his whore." She gestured at Mal, who tried to look as if he already knew this.

"Nevertheless, all personnel on board should have reported here. If there's anyone else we don't know about, we will find them."

In the shuttle, two feds rifled through Inara's stuff, creating a mess. Above their heads, Taariq held her breath, willing her feet not to slip on the cold metal. She closed her eyes tight and sent out a silent plea to any divine force that might be listening. _Don't move the drapes; don't move the drapes…_

"What about the drapes?" Fed number one asked her partner.

_PLEASE don't move the drapes!_

"Nah, don't bother. No one could hide there. We'll check the other shuttle." The feds clattered out, and Taariq released her breath, almost crying with relief, and steeled herself to wait for Inara to come and give her the all clear.

Kaige, it turned out, could breathe, but she too held her breath as she listened to the slightly muffled sounds of feds searching Jayne's bunk. Leaning her head against the wall she was backed against, she tried to take deep, claming, silent breaths, sure that even through the rack and all the guns the alliance lackeys would hear her heart pounding. As the feds began to discuss any hiding places they might have missed, it hit her just how bizarre the situation was, and she began to giggle, immediately clamping a hand to her full lips, trying to stifle the sound. Trying to picture where the others where hidden, she was beginning to find the situation hilarious, and tears streamed down her face from behind her rectangular glasses as she closed her eyes, desperately attempting to stop laughing, mindful not only of the telltale noise, but of how much oxygen was available in the tiny space. Eventually, she calmed down, hearing the sound of boots retreating up the ladder. Leaning her head back once again, she took a deep breath and wiped her eyes, worry for her friends and sister creeping back in.

Far above the Captain and the Sergeant, warm under the tarpaulin of the new hover mule, Taban and Simon lay quietly, hoping upon hope that no one would think to look for stowaways here. Taban found her mind slipping, wrapping her in a cozy bubble of denial as it so often did. She smiled in the darkness, and began to think of songs she wanted to learn on her guitar. Simon found himself hoping that the feds wouldn't even notice the mule. At least it had stopped swaying he could forget he was suspended so high above a solid metal hull. Unbidden, Mal's voice floated through his head; _One of you is gonna fall, and die, and I'm not cleaning it up! _He closed his eyes tight and thought of Kaylee so far below, probably lecturing some feds on detailed mechanical systems, and of River, snug below Kaylee's favourite system of all.

Snug, River decided, was the word. She was exactly five feet eight, and that made her exactly one sixteenth of an inch shorter than the hole, which was dark and warm and smelled like the grease that had irrevocably permeated Kaylee's coveralls. River was content here. She fit, a square peg in a square hole, comforted by the constant steady rumble of Serenity. River heard boots approaching, Alliance issue, size eleven. _One, two, three…_ She smiled excitedly, remembering Simon's eighth birthday party. Remembered crawling under her parents' bed, stomach tingling in trepidation and anticipation…_Ninety-nine, One-hundred! _The boots were nearer, almost above her…_Ready or not…_and there were more than one pair, seeking and searching…_Here I come!_

Head nestled on a cluster of wires, Ebony stretched out and closed her eyes. The far off rumble of the engine, combined with a gentle humming that seemed to surround her was surreally comforting, oddly reminiscent of the power plant near one of her many childhood homes. Anxiety was creeping through her, but so was sleep, on Allen, it was past midnight, and the crawlspace was definitely more comfortable than where she'd been sleeping these past few months. She sighed, and found herself drifting away.

_Translations: fei-oo - junk_

_neen hen boo-tee-tyeh duh nan-shung - you inconsiderate schoolboys_

_bee-jway - shut up_


	11. Relief

**Joss is Boss**

As the feds shuffled off of Serenity, back on board their own complex, they were followed by the stares of Zoe, Wash, Book, Jayne and Mal, and the glares of Kaylee, Inara and Nova (the former annoyed at Banning's continued insulting of Serenity, and the latter two seemingly enraged about the comments regarding whores that had been bandied around).

As the last Alliance drone sealed the airlock behind himself, Nova's petulant scowl dissolved into a look of pure relief, and she let her knees give way, sinking to the floor with the sheet puffing up around her. She half laughed, half sobbed, before, looking up at Inara.

"I'm sorry about that thing where I said Companions are stuck up, glorified fuckbuddies." She said, grinning apologetically. "I got a bit carried away."

Inara grinned back, a little mischievously.

"I'm sorry I said unlicensed whores are little more than cheap, degraded sex dolls who shame womankind."

The two women giggled, as Inara helped Nova to her feet.

"Kiss and make up?" Nova offered, holding the sheet with one hand, and offering embrace with the other. Inara leaned forwards, accepting the embrace, as they kissed each other on the cheek, before heading up the steps together and turning aside from each other as their errands parted them.

Jayne stared after them for a minute, surprising no-one as he grunted

"I'll be in my bunk," and headed off in that direction.

He descended the ladder into his bunk, and swore at the sight of his possessions scattered and strewn indiscriminately about. He picked the hat off the bed and made to return it to its place atop the gun rack before pausing suddenly, remembering why it had been moved in the first place. He reached out and flicked the hidden switch, causing the door to swing outwards, and Kaige, who had been leaning against the door, to tumble out onto his bunk, blinking in the light and deeply breathing the fresher air. For a moment, they stared at each other, then Kaige caught the smirk on Jayne's face, and realised she was on his bed, and that they were alone.

"Eww!" she cried, and pushed past him, hurrying up the ladder.

In the corridor, she found Nova, sat on the floor, tying her bootlaces. Why, Kaige didn't know, but before she got a chance to ask, Nova leaped up and embraced her tightly. Recovering from the initial shock, Kaige returned the hug, grinning as the younger girl breathed

"We made it! Kaige, we made it off Allen."

Into her neck. They stayed for a moment, wrapped tightly in each others arms, before being interrupted by Taariq, and Inara. The two girls took it in turn to hug Taarig, their relief flooding off them in waves, causing Inara and a newly appeared Jayne to stand awkwardly to one side, waiting for them to realise that they were blocking the throughway.

Arm in arm, the three teenagers returned to the cargo bay, followed by the companion and the mercenary, to watch the mule being lowered to hull level. Shepherd Book threw back the tarpaulin and, blinking owlishly in the light, Taban and Simon climbed out and stretched. Almost immediately Taban hurried to her cohorts, and there was more hugging, as Simon turned to Book.

"River?" he asked. The preacher smiled.

"Kaylee and Zoë are letting her out now. In fact…" he trailed off, looking behind Simon, who turned abruptly to see his sister, streaked with grease and oil, gracefully preceding the two other women down the stairs. She smiled at Simon, but then regarded the hugging newcomers closely.

"Not out of the woods yet." She told them, when they realised they were being watched. She shook her head. "Miles to go." She then leaped forward, tapping Nova on the arm. "You're It!" she declared, and fled.

"You better run, little girl!" Yelled Nova, gleefully, bounding after her. "You're going down! You're going down like a purplebelly in a bar brawl!"

In the following minutes, chaos reigned, with first the rest of the newly acquired girls, then Wash, and one by one, the rest of the crew joined in the noisy, energetic game. Eventually, Wash was pounding up the stairs in pursuit of Nova, who was evading him completely, before she tripped, staggering and righting herself, glancing back at Wash, who leaped, arm outstretched to tag her. She grabbed the railing with both hands, pulling her legs up out of the way as he skid along the floor on his belly. However, she had misjudged his distanced, and pulled herself to far. Her eyes met for an instance with Wash's, as – mouth open in an "Oh!" of surprise – she toppled over the railing backwards towards the cargo bay floor far below.

The crew watched in horror as she fell, then in surprise as she somehow turned in midair, somersaulting impossibly to land on her feet, staggering forward to her knees as Simon rushed towards her in anticipation of injury. Grabbing his hand, she righted herself, heart pounding. Looking around at her colleagues, whose expressions telegraphed variations of "why is it always you? why is it always you to draw attention?" she frowned, blowing a strand of hair out of her face.

"Where's Ebony?"

In the dark and warm, Ebony woke, disorientated.

Wash and Zoë walked onto the bridge, wrenches in hand.

Slightly panicked, Ebony gained her bearings, and banged hard on the wall in front of her, causing Wash to jump back in shock.

Some while later, Ebony scrambled out of the hole onto the bridge and got shakily to her feet, shielding her eyes from the light and thanking Zoë and Wash for letting her out, before going in search of her friends.


	12. Who are you?

**Joss is Boss.**

Ebony hurried towards the cargo bay, Wash and Zoë close behind her. As they reached the top of the stairs, the scene below them became visible. Serenity's crew stood together on the further side of the bay, facing the stairs. The girls were stood facing them, a clear gap between the groups.

"You're gonna tell us what in the _hell _is going on!" Came Mal's voice. Zoë recognised his tone. It was the tone he used when he didn't understand a damn thing that was going on, and that fact had made him angry. As she hurried past Ebony and down the stairs, she could see a little better what had caused this. Simon was clutching his arm where Nova had grabbed it, Kaylee at his side, and Jayne was half leaning on Shepherd Book, leaning forward as though winded. She picked up her pace, rushing to Mal's side, Wash following her. Ebony went straight to her friends.

Nova was stood directly opposite Mal, and Zoë recognised her stance as one that could become defensive, or a fighting stance, in a moment.

"Mal, what…?" Wash started, but was interrupted by Jayne.

"Little bitch kicked me clear twenty feet!" he yelled, trying to start forward and being restrained by the preacher.

"You grabbed me! What reaction d'you expect if you grab someone from behind, you twat?" she shouted back, causing everyone to begin yelling at each other at once, even if they were only trying to ask what was going on. The unintelligible noise went on for some time, with River clutching her head, until Mal fired his gun into the air, bringing a loaded silence made more prominent by the distant rumble of the engine. Finally, Mal managed to spit out a sentence.

"Who are you?" he demanded, staring at the girls, who at the sound of the gunshot had all assumed fighting stances.

"I'm Nova," she replied. "The Vampire Slayer."


	13. Floor Picnic

A/N: Sorry it's been so long, but finally, I continue. Please, please contact me with any ideas for the title, as the one it has is lame. Thanks and enjoy!

An

**Disclaimer: Joss is Boss!**

The next hour had been interesting, and River had enjoyed it. She'd especially enjoyed the real story of Earth that Was, the demons, the ever lonely slayers, hundreds and hundreds of years of chosen ones, until one, THE one, River decided, had unlocked all the potential slayers and given them power. It made a good story, and it was better knowing it was true. She wanted to read the watcher's diaries from which the girls had gotten this information about their history. She probably wouldn't understand most of what they said, but she still wanted to read the diaries of Rupert Giles.

It also made River happier that the girls knew about her and Simon now. There was no need to pretend she'd only fallen out of a tree, and as the Captain said, neither party could hand the other over without being turned in themselves. It made her feel less alone, too, that the slayers were hiding from the same thing she was, and Book's guess that people like River had been chosen as watchers made sense to her. Simon furthering that to estimate that the ultimate goal was to create watcher/slayer hybrids did too, though why no one could yet work out, because as far as anyone could tell, there were no vampires in space.

The girls were still talking, though, still answering questions. How each of them had left home, even running out the back door as the alliance knocked on the front to take her to the academy, how they'd all ended up on Allen, when they'd first made contact with Badger, how they'd stolen the money to get offmoon, right up to (at River's insistence) the game of tag and Nova falling from the balcony. For the benefit of Zoë and Wash, they continued the story from after Nova had asked where Ebony was.

Kaylee had rushed over to Simon, wanting to know if his arm had been broken. As he wasn't sure without an x-ray, Jayne had decided that it didn't matter either way, it was Nova's fault, and injuring a crew member made her an enemy, no matter how many times he himself had threatened to break Simon's arms. At this point, the two groups had been more or less huddled back to back, talking and discussing things amongst themselves, with River somewhere in between, trying to listen to both. Despite her protests, Jayne had marched over to Nova, who had her back to him, and grabbed her, pinioning her arms to her sides. Being unaware of the extent of her supernatural powers, he had not expected her to twist out of his grip with ease and kick him in the chest hard enough to send him sailing twenty feet across the cargo bay to land on his ass. He was still ignoring her promises that this had been a reflex action, and she really wasn't intending to beat the crew to a pulp and steal Serenity.

This story had ended with Mal informing the girls that they were being left on the next world they came to, and then getting incredibly peeved when a sullen Nova had replied:

"Well, duh, Captain, that's what we're paying you for."

He had then banished the slayers to the cargo bay, where they had willingly gone, and banished everyone else to their respective work stations. River, however, didn't have a work station, so once she was sure Simon was occupied with instructing the Shepherd in arm splinting (River knew it wasn't broken, and she'd told him so, but he still thought it better to wear a splint until he could reach a hospital with an x-ray facility), she had crept from her room and sidled down into the cargo bay, via the kitchen, where she'd found the girls lounging around on the floor, and rummaging through their bags, which the Captain and Jayne had removed from the smuggling hole. She stood watching them for while, slightly too shy to make the first remark. Eventually, Taban noticed her. River was glad it was her. The cheerful girl reminded her a little of Kaylee, and she and Taariq seemed less threatening than the three taller girls.

"Hey, River," the blonde smiled, causing the others to look up, each give a greeting of their own, and go right back to rummaging through their things. River smiled back.

"Sustenance is key." She said, proffering tins of food. She frowned at them. "Not haute cuisine. Not fresh. Won't be food again 'til it comes out the tin. I couldn't find the opener, Jayne took it again."

With the mention of food, River had grabbed the attention of all five girls, and was immediately relieved of all the tins. Grinning over their exclamations over the "fake chow mein" noodles and tuna flavoured protein and carb, and quickly assessed how long it had been since each girl had eaten, and how long it had been since she'd eaten her chosen meal. She had definitely made the right choices, and was delighted when they invited her to join their "floor picnic". Gracefully seating herself between Taariq and Taban, she watched carefully as a multi-functioned, red handled knife – they were still called Swiss Army knives, as the company had survived long after Switzerland had been left behind on Earth that Was – was produced seemingly from nowhere and used to open the tins. Similarly, forks and chopsticks appeared almost magically and were handed around before the girls dug straight into the cold food. River regarded them, then her chicken-flavoured protein, and followed suit. It tasted different cold, and she wondered how mere heat could entirely change the flavour of something.

After the tins had been emptied and cast aside, Nova produced a bottle of stolen wine, and handed it around. When the bottle had made its way to River, the teenager shook her head firmly.

"Alcohol negates the effects of Niazac. Simon gave her a double dose this morning, to keep her calm. Wine could start a rampage."

As Taban shrugged and handed the bottle onto Taariq, Kaige said:

"See, this is why you shouldn't hang with crazy people." With a mistrustful glance at River.

"Well, maybe we should've abandoned you on Allen, then." Smirked Nova, with a wink at River. "And she can't be that crazy, she turned it down." Taking the bottle from Ebony, Nova had then embarked on a reminiscence of a riot she'd once started by accident, more for River's benefit than her cohorts, as they had evidently all been there, but they still laughed, and carried on with stories of their own, and River had listened and listened, picturing herself there, drenched in the spray of fire hoses, ears ringing with yells and eyes smarting with smoke, and eventually, the smells of sweat and liquor and burning Patrol vehicles had drifted into dreams.


	14. Sweet girl, slightly strange

**A/N: This chapter in no way furthers the plot. I got carried away with the fluff. If this annoys my readers, I hang my head in shame. If y'all love it, and appreciate the break in the story, I totally meant it to be this way. I promise that the next chapter will move things forward.**

**Joss is Boss**.

River woke with the smell of leather in her nose. She was warm, but not very comfortable. Cracking an eye open, she found her vision full of something black, and slightly shiny. Opening her other eye, she found that her head was resting on a folded coat, with another coat draped over her in place of a blanket. Yawning hugely, she sat up, blinking owlishly, and stretched. Around her, the five slayers slept, using their bags as pillows, Kaige and Ebony sharing a thin blanket. Carefully, so as not to wake any of them, River tiptoed over and placed their coats over the blanket, hoping she remembered to thank them later. Then she wandered away, determined to enjoy her favourite part of day: not only were the early mornings quiet, with most of the crew asleep and not thinking, but the drugs were wearing off slightly, leaving enough to keep her lucid, but little enough for her to feel like herself. She wafted silently up the stairs, following the thoughts of the only other person who was awake.

Wash was a little bit bored. Most mornings, he would arrive on the bridge to find that some minor thing, or things, had gone wrong, and after his initial systems check, he'd spend his time before breakfast fixing them. This morning, his systems check had shown everything to be perfect. Air: fine (thank heavens). Gravity: dandy (useful, but weightlessness might be fun for a while). Heat: lovely (come on; give me something to do…). Course: still set and headed to the co-ordinates Wash had entered last night (oh please! That never happens!). Everything else, right down to the most obscure item, was happily working away, so he re-arranged his palm trees. Then arranged them differently again. Then nearly had a heart attack as River said:

"They liked it better where they were."

Twisting in his chair, then turning the whole chair around, Wash pointed accusingly with a tree.

"If you sneak up on me like that again, I'm gonna stitch bells to all your clothes. And shoes."

Then, with a mock fierce glare, he turned his back on her, and began putting the trees back where they'd been to start with. He heard her leave, giggling, and shook his head. _Sweet girl_, he thought, _slightly strange_. A minute or two later, he heard her return, being careful to make sure she didn't make him jump this time. He turned again, to find that this time; she was holding two steaming mugs of tea.

"Olive branch?" she held one mug towards him, head on one side.

"Thanks," he said, grinning as he took the tea. She settled in the co-pilots chair, legs tucked underneath her, and regarded him over the rim of her cup.

"Bored." She said simply.

"Me too," the pilot replied. "Nothing to fix this morning."

River smiled. She liked Wash. He was like the Anti-Jayne. Gentle and funny and hardly ever violent. Nice to her, too. She put her mug down and took up a dinosaur, inspecting it closely. Herbivorous. Ponderous. She looked back up at Wash.

"Steg is bored." She told him solemnly. She walked the dinosaur along the console. "Nothing to eat. No one to mate with. Space is not the best place for a land creature." She stopped suddenly, gasping as she realised poor Steg had walked right up to a growling T Rex. She looked up at Wash, eyes wide.

"Sorry," he shrugged. "But Rex hasn't had breakfast yet." He wobbled the toy to prove his point. "Grr! Arrgh!"

Giggling madly, River whipped Steg around and raced him back along the console, Rex hot on his heels. Eventually, though, they ran out of console.

"Ah, ha, ha! You cannot outrun the mighty Rex!" Crowed Wash, triumphantly brandishing the dinosaur, as River continued to giggle. "Yes, you may laugh in the face of your grisly and untimely death, but it will still be grisly….and ….untimely!"

"Aww! You guys are so cute!" Again, Wash suffered from near palpitations as Kaylee announced herself from her spectating point in the doorway.

"Kaylee!" He cried, anguished. "Don't make me sew bells to your clothes, too!"

"Well, gee, Wash, if you're gonna get mad, I won't bother tellin' you breakfast is ready!" She grinned, then put on her best hurt puppy face. Before he could respond, River had leapt form her chair, Steg forgotten, grabbed his hand and pulled him up.

"Haste is necessary. The man-ape-thing will eat our share!"

Unable to disagree, Wash allowed himself to be dragged off the bridge.


	15. Lights out at Breakfast

**Sorry for the wait folks. Enjoy.**

**Joss is Boss**

Mal glared at his breakfast. He knew this situation wasn't the fault of his breakfast, but he couldn't glare at himself. He had a very strong feeling that back in the Mersey he should have just told Nova "thanks, but no thanks, hope somethin' turns up for y'all". The night before, Wash had ascertained that the next planet they could stop at would be Persephone, which worked well for Mal: he could pay Badger, pick up some supplies, and no one would have to feel guilty about leaving the girls on a backwater moon or planet as desperate as they had been on Allen. However, they wouldn't reach Persephone for another five days, three if they went hard burn all the way, but Mal couldn't justify that, even to himself. Serenity was big enough for everyone to avoid anyone they didn't want to see or speak to, and if Simon was so worried about River sneaking off and spending time with them, they could just make sure she was supervised. An inconvenience, but a minor one.

His train of thought was interrupted by Jayne snarling:

"What do you want?"

He looked first at Jayne, and then over his shoulder in the direction Jayne had directed his question. He glared again. This time it was justified, because while his breakfast certainly had nothing to do with the current state of affairs, Nova certainly did.

"Well?" He demanded. "Man asked you a question."

Nova took a deep breath, and forbade herself to be anything but calm.

"I want to apologise for my behaviour last night." She started, then paused, forcing herself to continue. "I'm sorry for causing havoc on your ship." She paused again and turned to Simon, finding this apology much easier. "I'm sorry I hurt your arm." Now she turned to Jayne, which was much more difficult. "I'm sorry I kicked you." But she couldn't help but add: "Even though you were a twat. Anyone knows grabbing someone from behind is a huge tactical error." There she stopped, and waited for any kind of response from the stunned crew. For a horrible moment, she thought they might bundle her out the airlock.

"Apology accepted." Simon said, placing his spoon of breakfast back in the bowl, and reaching out to shake her hand. His arm didn't hurt anymore, and he was sure River was right. He was even considering removing the splint. He also realised that being petty about her apology would cause unnecessary conflict, and hoped the Captain and Jayne would follow suit.

"Cool," Nova was visibly relieved as she shook his hand, but the worry returned to her face as she turned back to Mal and Jayne.

"Where're your friends?" asked Jayne, suspiciously.

"In the cargo bay." Nova replied petulantly. "They said that coz it was my fault y'all are pissed off, I had to come and apologise, though they're sorry for all the havoc too."

Jayne nodded, then shrugged. If they were all gonna be stuck on the same boat for five days, holding a grudge seemed stupid, even to him. Following the Doc's example, he stuck out a hand.

"If ya kick me again, I'm gonna shoot you." He told her, matter of factly as she took his hand.

"Fair enough," she replied, and turned finally to Mal, who still sat silently.

"Cap'n?" Kaylee asked, eventually, frowning a little.

"Mal, she offered you an olive branch," chimed in Inara, not sure if she was glad she'd made the effort to come down to breakfast with the crew instead of taking it in her shuttle as usual.

Mal looked around at all the crew, who were watching him expectantly, and caved.

"Fine," he said, turning back to face her and extended his hand. "Any more havoc, though, and I'll let Jayne shoot you." As the lights snapped out, Jayne and Wash loosing surprised "wei!"s, he calmly continued: "Kaylee, what in the tyen shiao duh just happened?" In the pitch dark, there was a pause before Kaylee's voice replied.

"I was workin' on the wiring afore I started breakfast, left a couple wires clipped together. They musta come unclipped. Won't take me but a minute to fix it, or it wouldn't if I could get there."

There were footsteps, and then they heard Nova's voice yell into the bay.

"Just chill, aight? It's just some wiring come unclipped. It aint the gorram apocalypse!" Before her footsteps returned. "If none of y'all can see, I better take Kaylee to fix this."

"You can see?" Even in the dark, the Shepherd's surprise was evident. "Shi. Night vision is just a part of the Slayer package." She replied, circling the table to get to Kaylee. "Which way's the engine room?" She asked, helping the mechanic to her feet and taking her hand. Kaylee hesitated for a moment, disorientated in the dark, and finally said:

"Through the opposite door to the one you just used."

In the engine room, Nova located a torch, and, at Kaylee's instruction, aimed it at the wreath of wiring hanging from the ceiling. Kaylee worked fast, fingers flicking over the various wires as she searched for the place come unclipped. She chattered all the while, cheerful questions of Nova's childhood in the core, happily answering about Harvest. It surprised Nova how much chatter Kaylee could fit into the two minutes it took her to locate the errant wires. Instead of clipping them back together, she pointed at something behind Nova.

"Couldja pass me that soldering iron?" Nova turned to find it. "Are all five of you from the core?"

"No. Is this the one?"

"Uh huh."

"Taariq's from Persephone, Taban from Whitefall, and Kaige and Ebony are originally from Shadow, though they moved around a lot. They're pretty used to this kind of thing. I grew up on Sihnon, though. I'm still not used to it. It's cool, though."

Kaylee did something with the soldering iron, and the lights came on all at once.

"Shiny!" She grinned.

"Coolio." The other agreed.


End file.
